Feedback, Gullibility and The Barnum Statements problem

Feedback, Gullibility and The Barnum Statements problem

A new colleague told me last week that the first time that we met I was a complete jerk. They obviously didn’t use the word ‘jerk’, but I sounded ‘jerkish’. It hurt . Aside from the obvious professional concerns some of the things they were describing were things I would hate to have associated with me as a human being. I went away crestfallen, regretful and with my head buzzing full of conflicting sentiments

  • It might have been a one off
  • What if everyone thinks like that?
  • What if not everyone thinks like that – but quite a few do?
  • How many is too many people thinking you are a jerk?
  • Would ‘too many’ be a percentage or a number?
  • What if it is a part of my character that I can’t change?
  • What parts are those?
  • Who do I trust enough to tell me if it is true?

I spent the entire week worrying about it. At times I was sitting down to meetings feeling uncomfortably unsure of myself.

When we talked again this week I asked them again about what I had done and how I had acted.They said that they had met me last year at an event – but when they named the event it turned out that I hadn’t even attended it. It turned out the were thinking about someone else entirely. Moving past the fact that it seems odd George Clooney was attending an HR conference (we often get confused) it shows how unreliable feedback can be.

I still feel like I’ve been a jerk because I’ve spent all week convinced that I had been. In fact I’ve got some things that I’ll do differently even though the feedback turned out to be false. In fact I now have a pretty good mental list of times that I might have acted like a jerk. Which is useful.

My experience of watching people respond to feedback through the years is that truthful feedback is less important to a successful outcome than their desire to respond to feedback. To put it another way – give a person who wants to improve suggestions of things that they can improve and they will. Give someone less committed the complete truth and they will rationalise it away.

Barnum Statements are descriptions that seem tailored for an individual, but actually are generic enough to apply to almost anyone. You could give a set of leaders the same feedback and tell them it was their 360 and they would believe it and act on it.

Try this as your feedback and see how you get on.

  • Sometimes it seems like you spend time on the wrong priorities
  • Occasionally I don’t think you appreciate your impact on others
  • It’s clear sometimes that you are more enthusiastic towards some projects than others
  • You have a tendency to be too critical of yourself
  • I think sometimes you push yourself too hard
  • You have potential to have an even better career
  • I sometimes think you aren’t as confident as you seem to come across
  • I’ve seen some really strong leadership from you and I’d like to see more
  • It seems you like a degree of change, but become less happy when you feel boxed in
  • I’m not sure we always see the real you at work
  • Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic
  • I really find we get on better when you are at your most relaxed
  • I think you are generally a really strong contributor and you know the areas you need to work on

Some examples are from me, some from the original study by Forer. I’m guessing some of the above rang true for most people. it’s worth noting that later research indicated you are more likely to believe this if

  1. you believe the results are specifically about you
  2. if there is a balance of positive and negative examples
  3. if you believe it is from a credible source

Think 360 feedback or the last psychometrics you took and the qualified person giving you feedback.

Feedback – the least important thing is the possibly the truth..

No – they didn’t

The thing about time is that it is a great concealer. As we move away from any incident our brains are rapidly working overtime to make us the rational and courageous heroes of that piece.

Let’s think about what that looks like in the workplace.

Do you remember that incredibly heated meeting you had, the one where you kept your calm, but that guy you don’t like was shouting? It didn’t happen that way, it really may not have http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24286258

Do you remember that time you had to decide between rival tenders – one from a company that you had gone out for drinks with (they just bought the drinks, no biggy) and one you hadn’t seen before? You probably didn’t choose as fairly as you think you did  http://www.livescience.com/23902-brains-unconscious-bias-decisions.html

Do you remember all that great work your new hire did this year (you just clicked at interview, great gut instinct) and all the examples of ‘old thinking’ you saw from others? Not as clear cut as you might think. http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/10/halo-effect-when-your-own-mind-is.php

Derren Brown
Derren Brown (Photo credit: lwpkommunikaci

You don’t think the way that think you do. Which means that you are always a little bit further away from reality than you think you are.

What does that mean? Shouldn’t you just stop contributing – after all you may be relying on false memories or ignoring a bias.

No. Don’t stop. Everyone else is too.

Continue with confidence, it’s the only way anyone ever makes a difference. Just continue with humility and an understanding that you are fallible. Ask others for their view of the world and give it credence.

Understanding that you aren’t as right as you thought you were will help you be right more often. That is as right as you may get.