I wrote this in response to the coverage of Massive Monday. The busiest day of the year for people starting to look for a new role. Except I’ve now delayed this blog – as there is a great blog from Mervyn Dinnen telling everyone to to calm down. So I did.
For whatever reason over the past few months I’ve been besieged by people wanting a catch up to talk about leaving their current role. It’s the best kind of besieging – it’s the kind that makes you feel trusted and worthwhile. I’m not complaining.
Here is what I’ve told most of them – and most have said it is helpful.
If you are asking the question ‘should I leave?’ it’s normally because you already know the answer. You already think you should leave, but if I say it too you’ll feel it is validated. You are more than probably about to tell me that you like the people you work with, but that the role leaves you ‘unfulfilled’ or your boss ‘just doesn’t get’ the way you work. The answer is the grass isn’t always greener, but unless you think the current situation will improve then it certainly makes sense to look elsewhere. Not storm into the a meeting with your boss and resign, but check out other options.
I’m going to level with you – I have no idea how good you are at your role. So I’m not going to agree with you when you say your talents are wasted or your boss is evil. But I do know that’s how you feel and that counts. Your happiness isn’t something I can reason out. If you are unhappy (or you think your boss is a muppet) I’m unlikely to change that over a coffee and you are unlikely to change it without changing role.I know you’ve worked so hard to build up a reputation with your current employer, but that is only of use to you if it can get you into a position you enjoy. Otherwise what you are telling me is just a distraction. This is about you, not how others perceive you.
And I know the people are great… Nearly everyone always says that when they leave. You’ll feel the same when you leave your next place. You’ll find people you thought you shared a deep relationship with were only colleagues and not friends. It is the way of the world. There are even more cool people just waiting to be met in the next place. You rarely lose great relationships, you add to them.
If you are worried about being able to afford to change jobs or that you’ll have to take a step down in seniority. It’s your choice, I’m not going to insist you drop your income. You came to me. It’s a tough economy and these are your gambles and choices. Everything has a risk. Your current risk is that you get up each morning for the foreseeable future and don’t enjoy a large chunk of your day. Only you can decide if that is a tolerable trade off for what you see on your payslip. I’d just challenge you to imagine a different future (a real one, not one where you just suddenly become Mark Zuckerberg) and make an informed choice.
If you aren’t qualified to do whatever it is you want to do then you have three options
stay put OR get qualified OR try and find a role without being qualified.
I can’t help with the first couple of options, the third is tricky, but it is possible.Why don’t you start researching that rather than worrying about that?
If you don’t know where to start then you start by accepting you are going to leave and then I guarantee that will unclutter your brain enough for you to be able to start planning for the future. You are currently overwhelming yourself with the enormity of choices you are trying to make – just break it into smaller steps.
- Decide to leave
- Decide what that means for you
- Work out what you want to do
- Work out what you have to do to get that
- Start moving towards it.
Then you get to go into work each day knowing that you are making progress towards something better and I can tell you that everyone I speak to who ’emotionally resigns’ finds everything just that little bit more tolerable.
So you are telling me to leave? I’m telling you that you are asking that question for a reason and the person best placed to answer it…isn’t me
Thanks to Merv for the music choice too